Date: Fri Mar 22, 2002 1:55 pm

Cleanse Formula in this letter!!!

Subject: A success story!Long but worth it!

Hi to all friends,

I hope that all are hanging on as well as they can. I have come to realize that their really isn't anything more I can do but to float with this journey. I do look ahead and see that I have a ways to go still! I have come a ways though, from 85mg valium a day to 26.50mg V a day. This is hard work, and I really can't see the finish line, but what other choice do I have? As terrible as this all is, I now know that I must just go with it, and do it! I just pray that the out come will be back to being me again. Who ever she is. But, I bet my bottom dollar that I will like her more than the person I was, or am still trying to be! As usual the benzo fog is here, I awoke with terrible shakes and ofcourse the headache that will not go away, even when I take my codiene P. They help a bit, but not to the point where my head is free of this damn headache, or what usually turns into a migraine by the late afternoon.

I have a friend, well, he's really my mom's good friend he is a Priest in Europe (Portugal), and is also a Natural Path Doc. He visit's every year from June to August. My mom would not be in her good state of health if it were not for this man. He is 80 years old, and has been a Natural Doc since he was 38. This is a very interesting story. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer at the age of 35, the doctor's told him he had maybe one year to live, if that. He told me that he did not except that answer. So there is were he started his journey to Natural remedies. He even smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. He give up everything, including meats, even certain fish he will not touch. He is so full of knowledge on everything, he changed his whole life style, and he told me of all the different mixtures that he would take everyday.

He just kept taking all sorts of different herbs and things. Till this day he is healthy, and when he returned to the doctors and they re-did all his tests, the cancer had hidden away somewhere. He went back one year after they diagnosed him. The doctors just sat around him with their mouths wide open, not understanding what the hell happened here. When he comes in the summer, he always reminds me of that time, when the doctors told him he was going to die. He tells me that, it is up to ourselves to make things happen for us. As he always says to me, read, read, read, when you learn and understand, then you have the power to control not only your health but your mind.

This wonderful little man that I see every summer always gives me such good advise, but I never really listened closely to what he was trying to say. I do not dare let him see me smoke a cigarette, he will chase me with a slipper, and tell me that I am trying to kill myself. He is also very funny, his way is right down to the true facts, you either do it or you die! (Not that he means anything when he trys to use his tough love image, about the slipper I mean. Usually when he catches up to me, he then kisses me and hugs me tightly!). Well, I did see him last summer, and I showed him the valium bottle. I can't even tell you how his face suddenly changed and became very, very serious. He looked at me and said, " You are taking one of the worst drugs known to man!" Ofcourse me being in benzoland just said, well my doctor give it to me and he said that I can stop taking them, but that I will have at least l week of suffering!

Oh Boy, that was it! He sat me down, he told me he wanted no one to disturb us and that he was going to try and explain something to me. So I sat and I listened. He told me this was going to be one of the most difficult things to do in my life. He made one HUGE point of it all, TAPER SLOWLY! He told me that I would become well again, if I slowly removed the valium, that it would not be an over night thing, but a very long journey with the amount I was taking. He told me that my mind would play tricks on me, and never lighten up until I had finished it completed and then I would really start to heal. I mentioned that I was also taking Celexa at the time. He did not believe all that I was on. He just looked at me with a very very sad look on his face. I knew then that I was in deep trouble! I thought that I would just come off, hurt for a little and it would be done. No way he told me, he told me that I was going to have to cut out the A/d too. He told me that the a/d is just as bad, or worse the the benzos.

He then hugged me and told me that he would be thinking of me and praying for me. But, he clearly told me when he was returning back home, this is going to make you feel as though you are being defeated all the time, it will not let you live your life as you truly want too. They will play games with you, were you will feel their is no end and it will seem like eternity. These pills are powerful, but you are more powerful than the pills. You must stay focused all the time. Stress as he put it will make it 10 times worse, so get ready, and settle in for a long while. But, the good news is, as he told me, you will have your life back again.

He called last night, asked how I was coping? All I could do was cry and cry, he waited until I settled down. He then asked me what dose I was at? I told him, he was very proud of me, but told me to keep cutting, " Don't wait too long to taper" that he repeated about 4 times. I told him I usually wait 3 weeks. He told me that was fine, but even if I am feeling lousy at 3 weeks, to keep up the taper. I told him about all my friends here, and all the suffering. He told me that he is dealing with such a huge amount of people in Europe that are trying to come off the benzos. He said it is worse than when the plaque hit, he couldn't believe how many people were addicted to this stuff.

Oh, you might find this really interesting. In Portugal, the Acores, every grocery store was selling them on the shelf like shampoo. They would only sell the highest dose valium( being the pink ones, 25mg Valium each). He has been able to call the authorties and get the valium removed from three of the 9 Islands. I was shocked. He told me that the drug laws over there were different, or as he put it , WHAT DRUG LAWS?! That explains why my aunt came back from vacation there, after a month and had bottles of the stuff. She was popping them like candy. She did not know what the hell she was taking, they just told her it was very normal to take them for sleep problem, or if you feel nervous. This was about 6 years ago, when she realized what they really were, she had a hell of a time getting off them. She took them for about 6 months. SHe tells me it was hell, when I do see her at the odd time, she looks at me and starts to cry. She knows to well that this is not a comfortable journey at all. But, she is off them, and is living a great life, as she always tells me. That is why I try not to be around my family too much, they all start to cry. But, they never call, or help me out. I guess they have their own problems with my cousins!

Anyhow, I know this is long, but I am trying to let you all know what this very bright man was telling me. He also told me to do a healthy cleanse as he put it. He told me this would clear my head a bit, and very good for the body. If you are interested I will type it out, it is very simple. But, as he put it, you will not start to feel some real relief until you are completely off, then you will start to heal. Another word of advice, which I don't follow at all, never do I feel like eating. He told me how important it is too eat well, good foods. I did not dare tell him that I am still smoking, he would be very upset. I will quit that too, when I am clear of this horrific journey. I can't do it all at once, even though my smoking has increased so much. I was only a 3 cigarette a day person, now it is awful! One thing at a time I suppose!

If your interested this is what he told me to do every month for 12 days. 3oz. of ALOE VERA GEL (99.9%, in a glass bottle) 3 Drops of Oregano Oil 3oz of Pure orange juice 3oz of Pure Carrot juice Just mix it all up, drink it down before you eat anything, wait 15 minutes then eat your breakfast or in my case late lunch or dinner! My mom has been doing this for years, I did not even know, I will send you all a picture of my 76 year old mom. She doesnt look at all her age. She really sticks to her health schedule no matter what. She has not had a heart attack in 12 years now. She suffers from Angina. His cure for Angina, take as much Cayenne as you can! My mom couldn't handle the cayenne, she has Reflux, she experienced terrible heart burn.

Another interesting thing he suggestted, bc I don't eat right! Buy Nuturional Yeast( by the bulk, not the pakaged stuff) and Soya Protein, again buy by bulk, get the one that is 99%, Mix this with my Ensure, and it should give me some energy and provide good vitamins. He told me their is no point in taking vitamins if I am not eating. If you are eating fairly well, all you should do is two tablespoons of each in a juice, or milk or soya milk. He doesn't even like the idea of Milk, he told me to drink soya milk, Yuk! Anyhow, I don't know if this will help us, I am going to try it, maybe I will start to get some energy from it, it's worth a try!

Trying hard to hang in there, and I no longer am in search for the sheep with 5 legs. THeir is nothing we can do but try to get through this. As hard as this all is, as long as this is, we will make it out. Like the Priest told me, " You will have to work hard at this, and when you thing it is over, it is not, but as time goes by you will get better and better. " He asked me to tell you all " to have faith in yourselves, and too get off these terrible pills, and know that you will heal". He knows actually what we are going through, but as he said, there is no way out, you just have to continue to taper.

And for people who have c/T, I asked him also, he just told me, They will also heal, but to remeber that the body has gone through severe shock by just cutting the drug out so quickly. Either way, he told me, we will make it if we really want to do it! Patience, and well focused is the way to go. He also understands all about the symtoms we get, he named so many, and even more. Well, friends, I don't know if this will help, I hope this will give us some sort of encouragment.

Believe me, this man is incredible, he works with children who have AIDS, somewhere in Boston, and he has kept many alive with his way of life. I have seen alot of people who he see's that are very sick, some he can not help, it is too far gone. But, he really does well with people on drugs being street drugs or prescription drugs. Unfortunely, as he says " BENZOS are the worst" as far as mental and physical pain, while w/ding! I hope we will all see the light soon! I know I sit here day after day, with all this mental and Physicall pain, but I always try and tell myself that it is the drug and what it is doing to us! We just have to truly believe in oursleves, and that we will heal! Sorry this is long, but I try to share as much as I can to help!

Love & Peace, Jenny

P,S. Benzo Fog today, Ihope you all could understand what I am say here! Hang tight!