Date: Sun Oct 24, 1999 8:10 am

Good Morning,

I was positive I was going to have a nightmare of a

night and guess what I didn't. I didn't sleep all that much but I was

not awake with all the horrible WD symptoms. Each time I awoke I put

in a tape and must have gone with it. When I woke this am I had a

feeling of calm. During the night when I woke I kept hearing the

words "you're healing and enlightenment." For some reason. The tapes

I listen to are hypnotic sublingual and speak much of how relaxation

boosts our immune system, it speaks of light coming into the body and

peaceful places. So maybe it's sneaking into my brain without me

knowing it.

Another thing I want to share with you that I did over and over

yesterday is that Phil told me to pass an object, ball, apple

whatever between my two hands when I am stuck in a horrible thought

or fear. He said when we are stuck only one hemisphere of the brain

is working so we can't get out of that state. He calls it a state of

discomfort. So by passing the ball back and forth it gets both sides

working and we get unstuck. I did it many times yesterday and I kept

coming back to a clearer state. I don't know if it is just the

distraction but I was in and out of ativan's dark hole all day. But I

did come out. I don't know what today will bring but I feel I have

more and more coping skills to help me. I owe it all to all of you

for your input and just hearing your stories of past and present

helps so much. This is what a support group is, we are very lucky to

have found eachother. I'm off to church, I wish you all a happy

Sunday.

Love, Sheila