Date: Mon Jan 20, 2003 2:53 pm

Subject: Ups and downs

Dear xxxxxxx,

I speak often with a man named Rich, he is not on these posts but lives a few

towns over and somehow got my name. He called today to say that he had some

time of feeling better and now just wants to die again. He had even taken

his son to and arcade and as he was there the floor fell out from under him.

What my Dr. of Naturopathic medicine told me was that when we have these

bouts of severe withdrawal it is the medication once again leaving our

bodies, this is what withdrawal is. We were addicted to a very powerful

pill. Your body is screaming out for this food that was fed to it for years.

It will hit every part of your being, like salt in a wound, to get you to

feed the addiction. I visualized this as a huge horrible monster inside me,

he was stronger than me to begin with. When I didn't feed it it would break

out in rage throughout my body and brain. Then as I had windows of wellness

I was getting to be stronger. The day I threw away my pills I felt like he

was melting, just shriveling up inside me and then he was gone.

Even when I called TASHA in the UK they said the same thing, this is

withdrawal and when you have the bouts of pain it is actually a good thing,

it means the drug is leaving your body. Pushing through yet another part of

your tissue, muscle, cells, brain etc. Keep flushing, keep pushing, you will

be well one day.

If you are at a point where you can read, get those books that work on mind

power and strength, they really do help.

Sheila