Date: Fri, 27 Aug 1999 17:52:18 -0700

From: Rik <rik@t...>

Subject: How We Heal!!!

This is a fact of basic neurology that helped me weather some of the

darkest nights of the soul:

Neural tissue, our brain and nerves, do not heal in a straight

progressive line like we think about other tissue healing. Once a cut

is disinfected it slowly and predictably gets better and has limited

reversals in the healing process unless we reinjure it again.

With benzo damage we are dealing with an electrical and biochemical

system that works on the threshold principal. They either fire or they

don't fire. On or off. Stop/go! What this means is that the severity of

our symptoms is not an indicator of how long the symptoms will last.

A shorting power line spews sparks and puts on quite a show until the

last second when the power is cut off. Even the most wretched symptoms

may only be seconds from stopping when the neural tissue makes that

final correction and shuts off.

Many will notice the good times and then bad times. If you are having

even seconds of less symptoms of if one symptoms stops this proves that

the brain is healing and knows what it has to do to be normal. I have

personally known people who have had their withdrawal be reduced 75% in

one day and never went back. That final switch clicked and the brain

quieted down.

Most of us will not be so fortunate but it is important not to get

stuck on the severity of symptoms being a marker of how long we could

be in pain. Brain tissue does not work that way.

What is a major sticking point for most of us is that we forget just

how much we have come through and how much healing has actually

occurred. Many of us have come to this place because of anxiety

disorders, our brains are hard wired to be on the negative side, so

remember where we have come from and not only how bad things still are.

We need to remember that we are healing even if we are still in the

detox phase. Each cut we make allows the brain to stopped being bathed

in toxic chemicals. Each sunset we achieve is one more day drug free

and on our way to peace and healing.

Finally I understand that healing can be so slow for some of us that

disappointment breeds despair, I still feel that way a lot, and as we

are removed from the main stream of life depression is often not far

away. Holding up images of a fantasized life against the one we are

living now only makes us more despairing. Since we are not God we don't

know the big picture and how this part of our life may lead to greater

things. Since many of us with anxiety disorders have come out of

dysfunctional families we have lost trust in positive outcomes. This is

an opportunity to teach ourselves to look towards the light ahead and

if we can't find it, lean on others here who have a little more

perspective.

Peace and Healing Rik