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From: "carol UK" <carolann@p...> Date: Wed Jan 23, 2002 4:14 pm Subject: Re: [benzo] Bad setback, please help Believe me I know exactly how you feel, it seems just like a never ending roller coaster ride doesn't it but it is the way withdrawal goes, just when we think we are getting somewhere we can be hit by symptoms again and they can be just as intense as before. This is when we need constant support and reassurance from those who have been here before us as although we can't believe it when in the depths some small something keeps us going and in the end we begin to win through. You may be helped by reading my story on my website at http://www.benzodiazepine.org and you can see how I had symptoms very similar to yours, I wasn't then and am not now overly brave or special, just a human being, like everyone else here who has endured this iatrogenic illness through no fault of our own , many much braver than me and with much worse stories to tell have come through it and got well. Yes its a difficult journey and the hardest thing we will ever do and on many occasions we will feel like we are going crazy, dying and feel like suicide is the only way to free us from this myriad of physical, mental and emotional symptoms but believe me, seeing and hearing people (and I have since I ever became involved in this work) who were sooo ill speak of how wonderful they feel once through withdrawal is so great and its these people we must turn to and cling to in the dark days, I know you may feel that I haven't a clue how bad you feel now but I do, I also know you will get through this and regain the health you deserve. When I worked at the Tranquilliser Project it was amazing to see people come into groups or speak on the helpline who were as desperate as you are now and then further down the line see the transformation in them, of course this was not overnight or easy and no-one can predict how long withdrawal will take for an individual, I would be lying if I said I could but it does happen. When we take the drugs our own brain no longer works as hard for us and we become depleted in our feel-good, sleep producing and anti-stress chemicals, and the drug takes over, of course its nowhere as good as our own natural ones and soon we begin to feel the symptoms of depression, insomnia and anxiety/fear and panic because of this, we also begin to overproduce stress hormones such as adrenalin and cortisol and when in withdrawal or when off completely we no longer have the drug to help(however inadequate) or our own chemicals and can have up to 6 times as much adrenalin/anxiety as normal with no buffer to calm us. The good news is though that all the time nature is trying to replenish our stocks and rebalance us and eventually we regain our equilibrium and homeostasis, this happens in a very up and down manner, so we can be feeling a little better then wham for no reason we can feel as bad as before, in time the good times outweigh the bad. You will be OK, hang on in there, use the group for support, there are many here who know exactly how you feel and will be happy to help. Take care, love Carol. |