Date: Sun Jul 18, 1999 7:58 am

Subject: Re: Going forward

Dear xxxxx:

That is pretty incredible to contemplate, that they had me on that type of dosage. I don't think I ever fully realized how potent a dosage I was taking. They justified that by the seizures, of course. No wonder my life was such a mess, my judgement was so poor... Well, if I can quit cold turkey and get better, I guess just about anyone can! And, I, too, am doing just wonderful! But, the truth is I know now more than ever that it was entirely the Lord's doing. There is no other rational explaination. And, I am so grateful every moment of every day to have my life back. I can't put into words just how wonderful life is right now, and how blessed I feel every day.

To everyone in the group: This CAN be beat, and it is SO worth the pain of the withdrawl! I know it's rough for awhile (boy, do I know!), but life beyond benzos is so wonderful. I feel, personally, like I was "dead" inside on the Klonipin, and I have just come back to life after a long absence. Oh, I wanted to tell you all something. I took an IQ test, to see how my brain function was now. I scored within 5 points of my original IQ tests in school. (And, I really wasn't trying very hard, to be honest.) Maybe the problem we face doesn't have to do with losing intelligence per se, but simply that when your nervous system is going through so much, your concentration is that poor. For me, I still notice barely perceptible improvements in my concentration on a weekly basis. Just wanted to share that.

Love to you all,

Carol