Date: Sat Oct 21, 2000 3:31 pm

Subject: Re: [benzo] Time is the enemy and it's hard to be patient

Dear Group,

I finally have a chance to join the discussion here after an extended absence. I found my way to recovery last year on all levels except the financial one and trying to do that has been demanding all my time. After months of challenging changes, hard work, self-disipline, and self learning last year, I finally succeeded at getting the monkey off my back for good. I am now celebrating One entire year of magnificant health. Soon I will be celebrating TWO YEARS of being free from Dr.s and meds. YEE HAAA!!!

For 17 years I couldn't celebrate anything, so now, I celebrate everyday. I have NO More tortuous symptoms, no more sickness, no menatl (ha ha)problems, no fear, plus the aquired knowledge to maintain my health for as long as I live. It's hard even for me to believe but it was only last January '99 when Geraldine listened to me cry while I shared my suicidal feelings with her for hours. Both of our phone bills were astronomical. I had endured over two years of intense protracted withdrawal that seemed to worsen ever day that I was free of benzo's and other drugs. It was very disheartening after 15 prior years of looking for a way out of hell.

And, as if THAT wasn't stressful enough, to know for sure it wasn't about mind over matter, my physcologist suggested that it might be another 15 years before I recovered! Some of you may remember the stir that idea had here last year when many read it wrong. Well, like ALL the doctors she was WRONG! At NO time during the entire nightmare did any Dr.'s talk to me about what I ate or drank.

The naturopath that saved my life talked of little else. I knew there was no easy way, because I had tried all "their" drugs, tests, theories, etc. to no avail. All they did was complicate the existing problem. From the moment I began listening to Barbara regarding the toxic effects of red meat, pork, SUGAR, wheat, fast and processed foods, microwave food and so on, I began to experience a dramatic turn around. It was the first time ever and it was very exciting. I was so thankful that the group was here to share it with. I was also surprised over the lack of interest and the number of do doubting Henry's, (not to mention those few members who flat out called me a liar)! (The nerve ya know?)

During month three of radical life time changes I began stretching and deepp breathing every day. I had become so stiff over the years of downward spiraling health I could barely touch my ankles let alone my toes. I was so bloated and uncomfortable with my body that looking at the woman on my yoga video made me cry. She was so flexible, so healthy, so peaceful........AHHHHHH! But, I dug in. I turned off my "puter, got down on the floor, and began. One day at a time, I pulled out of the physical decay.

I learned more and more about breathing, about my body and my spirit. In about 3 months my spine went from this ) to this l and as it did, I felt better and better. I drank water like there was no tomorrow because I had begun to understood how important water is for our bowels and internal cleansing. I saw how irregualr bowels caused headaches, neck and head problems, skin disturbances and other not so fun stuff.

I stopped reaching for bottles of Tylenol, sinus meds, pepto and so on and I reached for my enima bag, salt water, digestive enzymes. If your head hurts try a coffee enima. It is the most relief I have ever received. I ate raw food 75% of the time. I read Eat Right For Your Type by Peter D'Adamo and it quicky became my food bible. And, I got stronger, clearer, happier and more confident with each passing day. If I felt that my immune system was down, I took raw garlic 3 times daily for 10 days. I had no ill side effects and lots of immune restoration.

Today, I weigh exactly what I should. I take nothing that's patented. I take care of myself 1st. I welcome the night and the quiet. I sleep like a baby everynight. My skin is glorious! I treasure my solitude. I love to socialize. There is nothing holding me back from living my life anymore. Except for when I am reading your letters here, checking the webring of beautiful benzo sites or writing my story, I never think about benzo trauma anymore. When I am writing my story, it is very painful. Who was that woman wearing my clothes and using my name? Who was that wicked person in my mirror for all those years? Where are the memories of my kids lives?

HOW in GOD'S name do these DR.'s get away with this and why aren't more people talking about this in the media? These politicians and their prescription drug plans make me crazy. No one is talking about finding ways to take fewer drugs, only about ways to finance MORE of them. The pharmeceuticals are slowly but surely taking over the world by putting most of us in a legal, drug induced coma. And we let them because we've been brain washed into thinking that pills are the answer.

The reality is that taking pills just takes us further from our roots and from the kind of diet and lifestyle we need to insure good health. As WE here all know by now, one pill leads to 2 which leads to 3 and so on. One doctor leads to another and another and before we know it we are trapped in the web of modern medicine. Man made toxins that create havoc, destroy liver and enzymatic function, weaken immune systems, and like dominoes falling, cause one symptom after another to knock us down.

There is a wonderful book about detoxing, (removing the internal, toxic pile of crap that causes our pain, stiffness, swelling, insomnia and many other SYMPTOMS). It is appropriately titled, "Detoxification and Healing, the Key to Optimal Health, by Sidney MacDonald Baker, MD. What a wonderful book. So, when I read Pixies' email below, I felt her pain and frustration and it motivated me to share this with her and all of you. JUST staying off meds did me no good either. Nothing did me any good until I made up my mind to change my ways. I had to CLEAN UP my act, insert nutrition into my body regularly, remove toxins constantly, leave all drugs alone, (except hemp because it helps and it's natural) walk, journal, research, stretch and breathe.

I had to learn what's good for me and what's not because really, no one ever told me until I met Barbara Leonard at the Get Well Clinic. What she taught me and what I have done because of it saved my life and ended my benzo nightmare. I am currently working on a longer version of this recovery story and I intend to post it on Ray Nimo's beautiful new website soon. I love to read your stories too and I encourage all of you to post them there also.

I would like to mention also that those of you who smoke and those of you who can't sleep might look into taking liquid oxygen drops in your water. Aerobic 07 is the manufacturer. IN closing I'd like to ask a favor of you all. Our group founder, Geraldine Burns is experiencing an emotional setback of sorts as the result of agoraphobia that just won't quit. For those of you who have not experienced this symptom, thank your lucky stars....it's awful! To go from a socially functioning person to one who needs to hide in the house is very demoralizing. She could really use some support right now so if any of you have a minute to send an e-card full of cheer and flowers, please do that for her. Thanks.

I will be online regularly for a while now but I intend to focus on putting my story in to some logical sequence because next year I will begin lecturing whenever possible and I need to prepare now. I wish each of you courage, self discipline, faith and health. I keep this group in my prayers at all times. Sincerely and with lots of love,

Cindy S.