Date: Mon Aug 13, 2001 1:51 am

Subject: Re: Does Long Use Cause Worse W/D, Longer Recovery, Protracted Healing or Damage?

Dear xxxxxxxx,

Though it is late here and I have already written way more than I had planned to I have to respond to this post from you because I relate completely. I had also read more negative things than I needed to at about the same point your at and I couldn't help but wonder if, MAYBE, just maybe because I took valium for so long, first at such high doses and then at lower and lower doses with out benefit ever of a slow or gradual taper, that my mind just wouldn't ever be right again.

I even wrote a letter to a woman in Australia named Beatrice Faust who wrote a book called Benzo Junkie, ( a VERY HARD READ by the way), asking her if she really had healed completely. She wrote back with the assurance I needed to keep me going. It wasn't that much later that my own recovery was completed and all my fears and doubts were laid to rest.

In my case there was more than one thing going on but like everyone of the members of this group think, I thought it was ALL about benzo WD. Turns out that candida was a HUGE part of my problem and once I addressed that I was much better. Turns out I was eating alot of toxic food and when I learned the right way and incorporated that into my life, I got even better.

I took care of some dental problems that severe anxiety had prevented me from dealing with sooner and I broke down in tears on the way home. WHY was I crying? I was crying tears of joy because there was no longer ANYTHING wrong with me. Boy was that ever a glorious day. John couldn't understand why I was crying and so he asked me what was wrong.

Through torrent of tears I replied, nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong. No more depersonalization, derealization, pain, weakness, illness, NOTHING. It was all gone and has stayed gone since.Please, keep the faith, because without it........what is the point?There was a member in the early stages of this group called Sandy who was on valium for 30 years and completely recovered. YOu might find some posts from her in the archives.

Sending love and saying prayers,

Cindy Samora,

benzo victim 17 years,

fully recovered 28 months thanks to holistic medicine, united in spirit with all other victims and praying for their recovery