From: DeniseMcSD@a...

Date: Sun Jul 15, 2001 11:53 pm

Subject: Re: [benzo] Digest Number 1721

Hi XXXXXXX & Group,

I think we have 2 Denise's here, that is why in the post that you refer to, I

signed my name Denise M., hoping to avoid confusion.

I am a married Mom of 3, who lives in So. California, and I work part-time in

Addiction Medicine and Dermatology. I was addicted to Xanax and Ambien, and

have been off them for over 4 1/2 years now. I have been really well for over

2 years now, and I am telling you.....I still marvel at how GREAT life is

these days! Benzo addiction and withdrawal is horrible, but the rewards of

getting your life back are HUGE! I can't stress that enough. I am moved to

tears nearly daily at all the little things that I can do now. Tomorrow I am

taking my daughter to see NSync at a huge Stadium in San Diego. This would

NOT have been possible if I was still addicted, or in a protracted

withdrawal. The noise, traffic, number of people.....I couldn't have handled

it!

And regarding Ambien.....let me say this again. It IS addicting!!! It is not

a benzodiazepine, but it addicts and acts on the brain like benzos do,

attaching to some of the benzo receptors. It will NOT help your withdrawal in

the long run, and its suppose to be used for 7-10 days ONLY. And certainly

NOT during benzo addiction and withdrawal. When I took Ambien, I was in full

blown withdrawal,(from the Xanax) and Ambien would take away my symptoms and

make me feel "normal" for about 4 hours, when it then wore off. I know it

didn't help my withdrawal AT ALL. Anti-depressants are NOT addicting, and can

help some people with sleep. Personally, I wish all of us could make do

without any pills, but considering the relentless pain of so many symptoms,

that is not realistic to expect.

And.....I suffered greatly from bladder pain. I had a test for a UTI (Urinary

Tract Infection) and it made me so mad when it came back normal. My Doctor

feels that the muscles around my bladder could have been causing the pain,

and I have to tell you....it hurt severely! I took a over the counter

medication called Cystex, and a Rx. medication called Pyridium,(both of these

meds were OK'ed by my Addiction Doctor) when the pain was really bad. I

drank lots of Cranberry juice, and I still do that today. I know absolutely

that my urinary and bladder problems were caused by my withdrawal. I simply

astounds me still all the symptoms and pain that my addicted, angry and

injured brain caused me!

The good news is......we CAN get better!!! However, we have to find support

and listen to advice that WILL help us, not hinder the healing process. I

have the Medical "know-how" to taper someone, but I would never do that.

Everyones brain and withdrawal are different, and hey....I do know that,

having worked with benzo patients for years now. PLEASE make a effort to give

advice that will not harm someone. If you are in withdrawal, are you really

in at a position to be giving medical advice?! What works for you, could be a

disaster for someone else. I can't stress that enough!! And that can include

Herbs and over the counter medications too. Yes.....everything imposes a

risk, but so does walking out of the house every morning and driving the

highway in a car.

It irritated me to no end, having to check out everything that I took with my

Addiction Doctor. However....I have my life BACK!!! There is NO sweeter

victory that I have ever known.

All the Best,

Denise M.