Date: Sun Jan 23, 2000 6:20 pm

Subject: Hi there....glad to be back!

Hi everyone,

Glad to be back on, I have a little over 3 years off Xanax now, and life is

really GOOD! I am glad that I hung in there, nothing will ever replace the

time I lost in addiction and recovery time, but just being WELL is so worth

all the hell, although at the time I was suffering you couldn't convince me

of that!

I am so glad to see that Rik is still here and sharing his experiences and

expertise, you may not always want to hear what he has to say, but he has

more clean time than me, so I do listen and learn from him. In my experinece,

both in the office,( I work in Addiction Medicine) and personally, there is

no fast way to get better. God, how I wish there was! If there was, I would

have known, but it was made clear to me, that only by taking the drug away,

and not relapsing, would my brain heal and return to a relative "normal"

state. I was so mad for so long, but this last Spring, decided my attitude

was hurting my withdrawal, and made a change. I have gone from being a

non-functional person, barely capable of going to the supermarket, to going

everywhere, and doing most anything! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to

get up in the morning, and NOT dread the day! How I hated living the way I

was! I am now the person I want to be, not a sick, addicted person. It took

a LONG time, and lots of faith, hope and support, but I am doing it!! I want

to encourage you all to hang on, and keep at it, I KNOW how painful it is,

believe me! However, it can be done, even with kids, without a husband, or

whatever you life sitiuation is, please just give time....time! I wish it

was easier, but for me, it wasn't, but the pain was worth all that I have

today!

And Sheila.....I am so proud of you!!

Love and Hope,

Denise