From: "jrprosepetal" <ifionlycoulda@h...

Date: Fri Sep 6, 2002 6:16 pm

Subject:

July 15, 2001 was the day I took my last Xanax. I have written this

many times on this board for a solid year now and then some.

I am happy to be alive. I have accepted the fact that I had

psychosis. I have healed remakably well through nutrition, self help

books, research pertaining to me, and perserverance and prayer and a

damn will to live again.

Last year at this time i had just come home from my parents. I was

forced ot go home with my tail between my legs and go through the

worst of the cold turkey withdrawal. I felt violated, confused and

could not imagine how taking pills for two months could do this to a

person. I wondered why no one cared and just thought I had gone nuts.

It still amazes me..but I no longer sit and just ponder over it as I

did before. That is what healing does. Takes away the worst of the

painful memories and makes it somewhat faded.

We are all a different print. Each of us are unique in what our needs

are. Some of us need more than others. I was one of those. I had

little help after I came home. I also had two children who needed me.

I went into auto pilot b/c I could do nothing else. There were times

i could only stare, cry, rock back and forth, stitch, or just sit in

my swing. Never in my wildest dreams then did i think I would be

laughing, running, applying for employment with a smile on my face

and meaning it. Nor did I think I would be the one saying it is not

just a dream, this idea of recovery. i actually wrote a will stating

where I wanted my children to be placed.

I am one of the ones who does not believe in medicating ourselves to

solve the problem . I believe everything stems form a lack of

nutrition/depletion possibly combined with some a real need for

emotional healing. I feel this way because I have healed to this

point only because of what I have done to help me which included all

of the above. I did it all..acupuncture, taking natural progesterone

cream, taking supplements, intravenous vitamins, took nothing into my

body that was foreign to me and read everything and anything positive

and useful to me, and stayed away from negative energy.

It's a reality...the answers are within you and if you don;t believe

I was that sick then just go back and read the archives. it's all

there. Hang in there guys. It's a reality.

Jen