Date: Tue Feb 1, 2000 7:45 am

Subject: Just a little history...

Hi,

I wanted to let you know how I came to find help here. After four months of my body going nuts and the Dr. Doubling my meds, antidepressants, you name it I was taking it. I realized it was the ativan. I found Dr. Deb (Naturalpathic Dr.) She told me to get on the Internet and type in Ativan. I did, found posts that were exactly me. I typed my story and Help!! Denise found me and a the rest is history.

I followed her advise, I listened to her, did almost everything she said. I took the Vistoril, very sparingly. Never went on antidepressants, I was too scared to get addicted to something else. If she didn't know about a med I would question, like Allegra she checked with Dr. Bob and that was answer enough for me. I found a Dr. that worked with me, and he read the Accidental Addict. After that he was so much more helpful and understanding. He prescribed whatever I felt I needed, like the vistoril.

Later I found Maryann, who I watched go through torture day in and day out. She gave me many, many coping skills. Electric blanket to help me sleep, percogesic for pain when I really needed it. Refresh for my eyes. So many more. Then there was Phil, my acupuncturist, he would see me for two hours at a time at a moment's notice and taught me to remove myself from the pain. He and Dr. Deb both recommend the Valerian and now that is my savior even though Dr. Bob does not recommend it. I take it only in extreme cases of burning, and loosing my mind thoughts. There are so many more that added to my continuing recovery on this list, and I thank you all.

And of course my Therapist who dealt in addictions. He gave me anger and determination to fight the beast. He made me realize I had control over this but I had to get into the right mindset. I worked very hard to find a team here on the list and in my community. There are no PA and no one I have talked to recognizes benoz problems here in NH. It's a very silent disease here in the NE.

I just wanted to share this with you, there are professionals out there but it takes a great deal of searching. I had to give up my Dr. that helped me through this as I needed to get someone to care for other things that were not benzo related and I was not comfortable with him for that. So the search goes on for me to find someone to do both. But I have so much more confidence and will not stop until I find who I am comfortable with for everything. This can be done but it is a long hard road. I send you all lots of prayers that you too will be done soon.

Love, Sheila

off ativan 116day after 5 years.