To: benzo@y...

Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2001 9:40 AM

Subject: [benzo] Setbacks Suck

Hi Group,

I'm going to be honest. After all my bragging about being 9 months benzo free I had a setback. I became a little doubtfull again and old thoughts entered my head. I became shaky and arguementative and aggravated at people I care for. I felt I had stepped back in time. Fortunately I have someone I have come to trust in this group that I could get in touch with to calm me down. I think I was trying too hard to take on some old issues and I was drinking too much coffee and sweets. I stressed myself back into w/d I guess. Maybe the benzo monster missed me or maybe Jerry sent him here-LOL.

Today I'm feeling almost back to normal. Whatever that is. I can tell now by how I react to things if it's a w/d visit or not. I once talked to someone who got off so easily. He said he was emberassed that he had it so good. I also know some who are still working on things after being off longer. But the optomism is still there. So it appears to me that 6- 18 months of gradually diminishing symptoms may be the norm. We may have to put up with re occurances along the way.

Some people will have it easy and leave the group to go about life. I hope that for everyone. Some people will have it harder and deal with that monster longer. But I honestly feel that we all do heal in our own time. I've ALWAYS returned to better days after a setback.

Take Care,

Tom- 9 months off the hard way and feeling great today

ps- can someone please take the benzo monster off Kims hands? She doesn't deserve him. Volunteers?