Date: Sun Sep 8, 2002 9:56 am

Subject: those nasty setbacks

Dear Group,

I was so naive during the first portion of my withdrawal. I was fortunate to have had some pretty good windows starting at about 8 or 9 months off and every time that happened I would boast to the group about it. I am an optimistic person or at least used to be and I thought that maybe my good experiences would help others.

Today I find it hard to read my old posts about my windows because I know that soon after I would go back down again.But I wasn't really good at or brave enough to complain to the group. I would usually write personally to my support network of old timers and they never steered me wrong. It always did end again and eventually I would rebound.

Perhaps I should have been more honest with you all.So it is common for some of us to get these nasty setbacks. I know some of you say that it is a more gradual healing with virtually no good windows. I guess we all heal a bit different but in my case it was like a roller coaster ride. One week I thought it was virtually over and I was making plans and actually doing things, the next week I was back in bed most of the day or freaking out and visiting the emergency room. It has been frustrating.

The good news is that eventually I became much more stable and the fear of it all left. With the fear gone and the doubts about recovering finally over I was able to really move on. During periods of setbacks please try to realize that others have gone through it before and found their way out. Go back to finding things that bring some bit of comfort to you just like in the earlier periods. Eat right and avoid stress.

Keep in touch with your support network and try not to push yourself too hard and for goodness sakes please don't think you'll stay like that or that benzo healing is a lie. It does come, most likely not as fast as you'd like. But it really does get better.

Been there,

Tom